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The terrorists accomplished many things, not the
least of which was to screw up the air travel experience, possibly,
forever. It's not like it was all that good before, but now there is a
temporal dividing line I shall refer to as BSE and ASE. One could always
pay between $99 and $3000 for a tourist class seat to Washington DC. The
$99 seat could be found usually by searching an airport serviced by
Southwest. Southwest has a multifaceted mission, low fairs, good basic
service and setting records for the amount of lines one has to stand in
before boarding a plane. BSE, most of one's time was spent getting to
and from the airport. For four months ASE it was mostly spent getting
from the front of the airport to the back. After six months things are
smoother, but still somewhat unpredictable. There was a line to check
the car trunk before parking, a line to check baggage or get a ticket.
Some of us who had nothing to check proceeded directly to the line to
get through the first security check. After this came the metal
detectors. Regretfully, I had to leave behind my handy dandy Swiss Army
knife that I have carried everywhere for the past 50 years. I really
feel inadequate without it. At Southwest, one waits in a line for a boarding
pass, then after that, especially if you get a boarding number larger
than 60 you need to wait in line again with the idea of nudging past
some little old lady who drew a 61. I counted seven lines one stands in
before boarding the plane. Hopefully, terrorists will not be that
patient and will take their action where there are fewer lines. Sitting on the plane I began to wonder what I would
do if a terrorist did take over the plane. One columnist glibly stated
that new security policies provide the terrorist a guarantee that he is
the only one on the plane who is armed. At this point passengers have
absolutely no way to defend themselves against the simplest knife or
razor blade, which would really be quite simple to sneak on board.
Finally, I figured the best thing I had on me was a Pilot pin. I believe
I could stick in right in some guy’s neck (or maybe his eye),
providing a little negative reinforcement to his desire to crash the
plane. Southwest seems to be the only airline to have
thrived ASE, even though air travel is said to be down by 25%. There are
a number of explanations for this.
Most travelers are not afraid a terrorist is going to crash the
plane, so this is not the reason. There is no way passengers would allow
what happened on September 11. We
all have an unspoken agreement that any peckerhead standing up with a
smuggled-on knife and threatening to take over a plane is dead meat.
Travelers just don't want to stand in lines all day wondering if
the plane will take off, even if they make it on time. We all seem to know that the only real way to prevent
a terrorist from smuggling on weapons would be to strip everyone down
and x-ray them. The only reason people were surprised with the Chinese
guy who got through security with five weapons was that we did not know
that anyone was that dumb. I thought it was illegal to be that dumb. But
then more recently some dumb ass tried to get on the plane at LAX with a
play hand grenade. Although most people would have trouble hiding
anything lethal in a body cavity, I have sat beside a few who would have
no trouble at all hiding a bazooka, maybe even a howitzer in a body
cavity. Many travelers, especially the ones nervous about
terrorists have flocked to Southwest Airlines. I have been on eight
Southwest Airlines flights since 11 September, all of them filled to the
brim. It's pretty simple. People figure that terrorists are not likely
to be on Southwest Airlines. Why? They have no first class. They don't
even serve meals. A bloke
who is just about to kill himself on someone else’s nickel would not
do it in tourist class seats, and he would not eat peanuts as his last
meal. Moreover, Southwest commonly flies out of small airports from
little towns the terrorist never heard of and couldn't find even if he
wanted to. I almost got lost going to Ontario Airport this morning even
knowing where it is. I bought some SWA stock based on this observation.
ASE few of the airlines served meals for a few months. Actually
none of the domestic airlines have served meals worth eating since about
1970, anyway. On the other hand, you probably will not find a sky
marshal on Southwest either. Southwest also knows how to make people
feel comfortable. The flight attendant just announced that we were
setting out on a long, long, five-hour flight to Phoenix. She added
"This flight is so long that your children will be in college by
the time you get to Phoenix." As we taxied down the runway, a steam
engine "choo choo" train complete with whistles sounded over
the intercom. "Next stop "Phoenix", she shouted. Everyone
laughed out loud. Anyone who did not laugh out loud would be branded as
a terrorist and immediately be stabbed with a hundred Pilot pens. One of the greatest costs of September 11 to America
will be the huge bureaucracy set up in the name of fighting/preventing
terrorism. It is not easy to guess what they will strike next. It does
not take a genius to figure out that they will not strike a lot of
things now being made more secure to prevent them from being struck.
Airports have changed everywhere ASE and in vastly different ways.
Traveling depends a lot more on luck nowadays. Arriving in Baltimore, I
immediately got lost trying to get out of the parking garage with a
rental car. The roads have been rerouted.
When returning the car I found myself being routed by make shift
signs to a rental car return far from the terminal. The FAA ruling is
that no parking garages can face the main terminal, and that is where
the rental cars used to be. The logic of this is not clear. Bureaucrats
at work, I assume. Airports have always been under construction, mainly
getting larger. Now they are all under construction to make terrorism
difficult. I arrived two and a half hours early not knowing what
to anticipate. I first approached the C gate, not knowing which gate was
mine. The line was unbelievable, extending the entire length of the
airport with no end in sight. My first thought was that I should have
come earlier, since two hours is not enough. To my pleasant surprise, my
Concourse B had a short five-minute line. I had over two hours at six AM
in the morning, even before all of the stores had opened. A friend on
this same flight a week ago warned me that three hours had not been
enough for him. One passenger who had to check in baggage told me that
had taken over an hour. The
time needed is still unpredictable but as of March 31, 2002, things have
improved considerably. What many people haven't realized yet is that the 25%
reduction is a blessing. Until this check in procedure gets speeded up
they could not handle the full load. Flying has gone from the 60's, when
the choice was Steak or Lobster, to now when one wonders if the airport
has been shut down because some kid shook off his powdered Krispy Kreme
on the bathroom sink (fear of Anthrax, bioterrorism). Hotel bookings are off 25% and many hotel workers and
airline employees are unemployed. It
would be nice and naive to think that we can simply outlaw the weapons
that hit us where we are most vulnerable.
Until we accept that we all are soldiers in this war and must be
prepared to die we will not have fully grasped the nature of a war on
terrorism or the realization that we are really in such a war.
There are several ways I can get killed today. I could whiff in a
breath of Anthrax spores, a terrorist could crash this plane, or a drunk
can come down the freeway in the wrong direction. Believe me, the last
one is the one I worry about most. Thanksgiving day, 2001 This was my second trip out of LAX ASE. The first
trip to Jackson Mississippi had been marred by an airport closure that
occurred just as I arrived at the parking garage in the nearby Crown
Plaza Hotel. Someone had found a suspicious package. A comfortable 2
1//2 hour time margin began to erode. After waiting on a shuttle for
half an hour we hired a taxi to get us into the airport. Our panic was
eased by a relatively short half hour wait in line to get through
security. Two months later I could only hope things were at
least no worse. We decided to not check bags on our way to Tennessee
from LA. The night before I removed anything that is banned including my
handy dandy Swiss Army knife that I feel naked without. As a last
thought I stuck a large plastic ruler in my briefcase that I could use
to wack a terrorist with. The freeway was practically empty on my
30-minute drive from Costa Mesa to LAX. We arrived at the LA airport 2
1/2 hours early, wondering if that was enough time. The problem now is
unpredictability. The rule preventing curbside drop-off by private cars
never affected me so far since I park off site anyway.
The rule has now been dropped. As the shuttle bus entered the airport my anxiety and
sense of dread increased as we passed terminal one and saw endless lines
of people still waiting to enter the front door. When I say endless, I
mean it. The line extended almost to terminal two a quarter mile away.
One could guess the time from the end of the line could easily be
hours. This was repeated at terminals two and three. When we were
dropped off at our Terminal four, I became annoyed because I could not
locate the end of the line. Finally I asked an airline employ who
pointed to the door. There was no line! Entering the door, I passed
through the inspection gate so fast I was not even ready to be
inspected. I even held up the line fumbling for my ticket and papers.
This is what I mean by unpredictability. We spent the next two hours in
the Admirals Club. Just before boarding the staff made the ominous
announcement that a random search of passengers would now take place. I
had joked before that this would be followed by the announcement of
random names like "Mohammed Osama, Abudullah Medhat, and Bahamada
Amrodahan. But the universe paid me back. My seat number was the first
called. "Jesus! Do I look like a terrorist?" I thought as I
remembered forgetting to comb my hair before leaving home. As she
searched me I felt myself wishing she were doing something more useful.
The flight left LA right on schedule. The plane is about half
full. I have had the special experience of being searched
twice since. Maybe I should get a haircut. Airports like LAX are at a great disadvantage
compared smaller airports like Ontario and John Wayne. It only takes one
suspicious happening to shut down the entire airport for hours. LAX has
a lot more places for this to happen. This was born out by our arrival
to a virtually abandoned Nashville airport. Never before have I moved
through the airport so fast with no lines anywhere. After spending an enjoyable Thanksgiving we returned
again to the Nashville airport giving ourselves three hours to make up
for the unpredictability of the times.
I was astonished to find no one in line at the American Airlines
counter on what should be one of the busiest travel days in the entire
year. This made me very suspicious about the state of American Airlines,
especially in view of a very long line at Southwest Airlines. The first
confirmation of my suspicions is noting that the American Airlines
Admirals Club had been closed. To further investigate my developing
theory, I studied the monitors to find that American airlines had only
five flights scheduled from Nashville for the entire day. Nashville has
evolved from a once important hub of American Airlines to one that is
practically unserviced. The monitor seemed dominated by Southwest
Airlines. At this moment, I would suggest anyone having a huge holding
in American Airlines stock reconsider his or her positions. How long
will it take the public to forget that American has lost four large
airplanes in just over two months. I had attempted to incorporate a trip to Marshal
Space Flight Center into the Thanksgiving trip, only to find out that
the required ticket change would cost nearly $2000. Again, over and over, signs that American Airlines is in much
more trouble than anyone cares to announce emerged. Attempting to avoid
the uncertainty of LAX I scheduled this flight out of Orange Country
Airport direct to Huntsville. At the Orange County John Wayne Airport I
found a nearly abandoned American Airlines counter. The plane was about
half full, but a rather large first class compartment was packed. This
means that the seasoned travelers are back in full swing. I was stunned at what I found in Dallas, a ghost town
in the American Airlines terminal, a nearly empty Ambassadors club, and
a nearly empty flight to Huntsville.
I arrived late at an all-but-closed down Huntsville Airport. Security at Marshal Space Flight Center was amazing.
I began to feel the effects of the bureaucracy, which sometimes make
little sense. Nothing is wrong with the security, since we don't know
how to make sense of terrorism either. This may simply be an exercise in
communication. How do you get a terrorist to disclose (against his will,
of course) that he is, indeed, a terrorist? This can be thought of as a
classic problem of active diagnostics. Expose him to some kind of signal
and analyze his response. Hopefully
it differs enough from a non-terrorist that an observant person can
detect it. Hopefully, regular travelers will have little reaction while
a terrorist will become nervous and either back out or give himself
away. At Marshal, I needed an escort to vouch for me (in
person) even to pass through the gate. After that, my engine
compartment, glove compartment, trunk, and bags were searched. This
bought me a trip to a security building where I was issued a pass after
further analysis. The front gate entrance was blocked by a zigzag
obstacle course of concrete barriers. Strangely enough the exit was a
straight through drive. I wondered what disincentive existed for driving
in the exit. A few months ago I could sail past this gate at 60
miles per hour. I learned
later that employees were waiting in lines for over an hour to enter in
the mornings. This type of security would have stopped none of the
attacks on September 11. It is not clear why anyone expects an attack in
places like this. They could do much more damage in down town Huntsville
where security measures have not really changed.
Leaving Huntsville got complicated as soon as
American Airlines announced that my flight would be two hours late. I
was not really shocked to discover that American Airlines did not have
enough flights to get me to Orange County after on this trip. I settled
for Long Beach, a long shot even then that assumed their delay was
predictable. In the end it worked. Now I just had to figure out how to
get home from Long Beach Airport, which is about 20 miles from my home.
Once again I noted that the first class section was packed and I
had to sit with the "tourists".
A few months and a few flights later airports have
returned to an almost tolerable state. I have not had a really bad
experience now for a while. My last trip was to Cleveland to the NASA
Glen Research Center. My Gold Card status rated me a first class upgrade
all the way going and coming. Except for being searched the only other
strange experience was boarding in Cleveland when the only two of us in
First class were assigned seats next to each other. The flight attendant
welcomed us to spread out. The experience was a little testier at the
NASA Center. Unlike Marshal Space Flight Center, when I approached the
guard gate, no one was in site. Why NASA puts the visitors center just
inside the gate is beyond me. Why stop visitors and tell them they
should proceed to the visitor’s center? I made the mistake of driving
on through since the visitor’s center is just inside the gate. The
guard, who apparently was bent over out of view in the guard shack
rushed out, thinking he had caught a terrorist.
I think I disappointed him when I told him that I only wanted to
visit someone who was expecting me and had no desires to blow up
anything. (Well, at least none that I was willing to discuss with him). London
August 2002-Causing a problem by attempting to solve it by solving a non
problem You
must have heard of the man who was looking for his lost ring under a
street lamp. When asked where he had last seen it, he pointed to a dark
alley, and then explained that he had not looked there for it because it
was too dark. After
11 September air ports became extremely unpredictable. Even after the
initial period of caos it became extremely difficult to guess how long
one needed at an airport to be safe with time. What resulted over the
next year were classic examples of causing an anticipated problem with a
solution of the wrong problem. These phenomena are always easier to see
in retrospect, so I am not claiming to know what solution should have
been applied. Following new security rules, baggage checks, and random
personal checks clearly would slow down the process and change air
travel forever. Airport organizers somehow thought this problem could be
solved simply by having people arrive at the airport earlier. In fact
the result of this "solution" was to add to the real problem. Expecting
caos in the airport I arrived at London Heathrow three hours before my
scheduled flight time for Los Angeles. What I saw was an almost unbelievable cue, even longer than I had
experienced shortly after 11 September. During the next two and a half
hours I stood in a line that moved slowly at
times and not at all each time a set of people had to be moved to
the front to prevent missing their flight. Almost simultaneously with
our making it to the ticket counter we heard airline employees calling
on anyone in line for the LA flight to move forward. I
could only conclude that the situation would have been improved if they
had asked people to arrive one hour before their flight times. Isn't it
obvious that the more time before their flight people are asked to
arrive at an airport the longer the lines will be as well as the
increase in caos. Those passengers who arrived one hour before the
flight were standing behind the ones that arrived two hours before the
flight. They were moved to the front of the line one half hour before
the flight. Can one always guarantee this? No, but that still doesn't
make getting everyone to the airport earlier the solution; that is
making the problem worse. The problem was not caused by people arriving
late; it was caused simply by spending to much time getting people
through check in. It would not take a rocket scientist to guess that a
method for getting people through check-in faster is the only way to
solve the problem. I am certainly not disappointed that no further
airplane hijackings have occurred ASE. Outside of the anthrax scare,
which has not yet been attributed to Al Queda, nothing outside of some
idiot trying to light up his shoe has occurred. Is this is all Al Queda
has to throw at us? Are they really that weak or are they waiting on the
magic moment to strike again? What really is their capability? The
Palestinians are blowing up someone in Israel every day. If you have
enough ordinary people willing to die like that, is it really that hard
to do? We haven’t so much as lost a MacDonald’s. How much has all of
our new security prevented from happening? If Al Queda is anything as
strong, wide spread, and sophisticated as we have been led to believe,
why at least did the shoe-lighting-idiot not have an electronic
detonator? Why hasn’t someone else blown himself up here? All I have
is questions, but something here just does not add up.
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